“Antes de morir, vive”

My dad wrote that to me once years ago. Never in a million years did either of us imagine it would one day resonate so much with me that I’d get it permanently marked on myself in his handwriting, but losing him has taught me a lot of raw realities about life and myself. I have struggled with my mental health since I was young, but after he passed I completely neglected it. I didn’t care about myself or trying to be better. I hid it from everyone, but behind closed doors I was drowning and I was okay with it. I knew my dad would never want that for me, but I didn’t care. I felt so lost, and in many ways I still do, but this line from that letter has stuck with me through the worst of it. I live a beautiful life. I’ve gone through some real shit, yes, but life is beautiful and it is a privilege to continue on. I want to fight for myself. I want to fight for the life I have yet to live. The one my dad would want me to have. It hurts he’s not here with me to be a part of it, but because of that I know just how precious it is to make the most of it – to truly live before I die. So here’s to my beautiful reminder to take care of myself & live life to the fullest extent.